Lively and Broken: A Childhood Shaped by Tamora Pierce Novels

My favorite book changes all the time, usually based on what I’m reading at the moment. (Currently loving The Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss, by the way.) I’ll go through phases where all I want to read are worn, familiar books, full of worlds and people I’ve grown comfortable with over the years. Other times I want new people and stories to fall in love with. New worlds to immerse myself in. So if you ask me my favorite book, I’ll hem and haw and pause to deliberate. I might not even give you an answer.

My favorite author, however? I’m not sure that’ll ever change: Tamora Pierce. No hesitation. I have read every book she has ever written at least twice, and I still buy any new novel she puts out, despite the fact that I’m “too old” for them. (Side note: You are never too old for a book.)

They sit in perfect, colorful rows on my bookshelf, and they always will. And one day, if I have children - boys or girls, doesn’t matter -, they’ll be on their bookshelves, too.

She was the first author I read that consistently wrote strong but flawed female characters. They weren’t always beautiful, but they were brave. They didn’t always fall in love, but they had purpose. They had doubts. They had insecurities. They had periods, and all the complications that come with them. I could relate to these women, despite the fantastical settings and unorthodox occupations.

Every quartet had a unique heroine, lively and broken. I identified with all of them in different ways, but Kel will always have a special place in my nerdy, nerdy heart.

Keladry of Mindelan, the Protector of the Small, was everything I ever wanted to be when I was 13-years-old: tenacious, strategic, unfailingly kind and empathetic, and confident - I admired her.

Keladry of Mindelan, the Protector of the Small, is everything I want to be at 25-years-old: tenacious, strategic, unfailingly kind and empathetic, and confident - I admire her.

And I could see myself in her. I was a skinny, lanky teen, the tallest in my class, boy or girl, with short brown hair and blue-green eyes. I wasn’t training to be a knight, but I could so easily picture myself in her world, in her place. I could see myself sitting on a bed in a castle, surrounded by sparrows, or in a tent, anxiously awaiting a tourney.

Now, I try to be a little kinder. I think about the way my actions affect people. I stand up for myself, a little more every day. I'm less self-conscious about my height. I'm more likely to actively pursue the things I want instead of waiting for them to fall in my lap.

I think a lot of that stems back to these books, these characters. I'll never get to be a knight, and honestly I don't think I'd be a very good one if I did, but I can be the things they stood for. I can try to make this world better, even the tiniest bit. I may not have a sword, or magic, but I've got power of my own.

Pierce was also the first author I read who openly included LGBT+ characters. She wrote one novel from the perspective of a girl realizing her sexuality, and in retrospect, it had a bigger impact on me than I knew. I can still picture Daja’s first love sitting with her face tilted toward the sun after a long, cold winter - and I still think she’s beautiful.

I have so many friends who are LGBT+ - and coming from someone who went to a hyper-conservative college, that's saying a lot. It never occurred to me to treat them differently, and it never occurred to me to be ashamed when I noticed it in myself. I saw happy, successful, loving relationships between women in Pierce's books, even if I didn't see them frequently in my own life (RE: hyper-conservative college).

I latched on. I read voraciously every book Pierce had ever written. I devoured her blog. I printed the list of books she recommended on her website and kept it on my dresser because if she liked them, and I liked her books, I’d probably like those, too. I wrote horrible, cliched fanfiction. I checked obsessively to see if new books were announced, and if they were, I used my limited pocket money to preorder them.

Last weekend I went to the bookstore and checked that I was still up-to-date. I am.

I don't care how old you are, or what gender. Do yourself a favor, my friends, and read these books. I promise you, Pierce won't let you down, and you might just come out a better person for having read them.