Flying Solo

Something which once was common is now novel. Very few people travel on their own anymore, particularly not to places far from home. I have to say, I highly recommend it.

My favorite part about traveling alone is the look of disbelief on people’s faces when I tell them that’s what I’m doing. They tell me I’m brave, but I’m really, really not. And they ask so many questions.

Wait, you didn’t meet someone when you got there? You just went by yourself? Why? Weren’t you lonely?

No. Yes. Because I wanted to. Absolutely not.

If I’m being honest, I don’t fully understand the confusion. Why wouldn’t I want to travel alone? If I’m by myself, I get to decide what I want to do, how long I want to do it, and where I want to go next. I get to sit in little cafes, drink tea, and read books, and I don’t need to worry about inconveniencing or boring anyone.

There’s no tension. No conflicting plans. No coordinating plane tickets through Facebook messenger. It’s freeing.

Perhaps it’s the introvert in me that enjoys my own company so much, that revels in my independence, but at this point in my life, I’m not beholden to anyone - not parents, not a partner, not children. I only need to worry about me, so why not enjoy it while I can? Theoretically, all of those things could change in the next few years.

I suppose it could also be the anxiety that plagues me with the thought that I’m holding people back or inconveniencing them in some way. Even when people tell me those thoughts are invalid, that they enjoy my company and I’m not a burden, I still have a hard time believing it, sometimes. When I only have my own plans to consider, it releases me from those thoughts, and I often have a better time than if I went with someone else.

This isn’t to say I don’t like adventuring with others: I do. I love it, actually. I love spending time with my favorite people and creating new memories together, new stories that only we can fully understand and bind us further together. However, this has become the cultural norm to the point where, most of the time, we don’t consider any alternatives, and I think we should.

Start small. I did. I traveled to Milwaukee, I place I’d never been but that seemed relatively walkable and safe, for three days and with only vague ideas of what I wanted to do. I had tickets to see “My Brother, My Brother, and Me”, I wanted to go to a museum, I wanted to sit in a coffee shop and read my book, and I wanted to see “Thor: Ragnarok”. Everything in between was spontaneous. It was wonderful.

I ended up spending way more time in department stores than originally intended because I forgot to pack another pair of pants. I went back to my AirBNB and fell asleep at 8:30 the first night. I spent hours reading in a variety of cafes. I took a walk by a river in the frigid Wisconsin air to take pictures of a sunset. All of these things, if I was with someone else, I would have hesitated to do, but I’m so glad I did them.

Here are some tips that I think might help:

- Do your research. In my experience, preparedness relieves anxiety. Is the city you're traveling to known to have a high crime rate or if there are any parts you should avoid walking in alone? Is it a walkable city, or will you need to rely on public transportation or rent a car? Where in the city will you be arriving? If it's an airport, what's the easiest and cheapest way to get to where you're staying? Are prices high and require you to budget more for the trip?

- Avoid walking alone at night as much as possible. If you have to, stay in well-lit, populated areas as much as you can. Don't put in headphones while you're walking because you won't be able to hear if someone is following you. Plus, you'll feel safer.

- Have an external battery for your phone and a charging cable on hand, especially if you're going to be using your phone to get around. The GPS will drain your battery pretty quickly, and you never know when or why you might need to contact someone. (I learned this one the hard, and slightly expensive, way.)

- If you carry a bag, choose a cross-body bag or a backpack. They're more difficult to steal.

- Make paper copies of all important documents and tickets and keep them in one place, preferably wherever you're staying. If someone does steal your phone or bag, you have backups. (I also like to keep some as souvenirs.)

- Try AirBNB. I've used it quite a lot at this point, and it's cheap, safe, and clean. Before staying anywhere, however, make sure to read the reviews. AirBNB is pretty good about screening people, but you can never be too careful.

In short, give flying solo a shot. (And, yes, I am going to make as many blog post titles a pun as I possibly can.) Maybe you won’t like, but at least you can say you tried it. Or, like me, maybe it’ll end up being one of your favorite trips you’ve ever taken. As cliche as it sounds, you’ll never know until you try.